Biography of me.
So, I grew up in a small suburb of Houston all my life. My place of birth was the Memorial City Hospital on December 22, 1992. Im on the cusp of Capricorn and Sagittarius, which has always been conflicting in my personality.
I was born into a broken family, where my mother decided to marry my father because they both already had kids. Together, our already broken family consisted of my two older sisters, the eldest having extreme depressive and bipolar disorders, and the other one having some weird social disorder.
I remember when I was young, everyone was always at school or work; I would stay up all day watching cartoons while my mother sat in the other room and did stuff on the computer. I also remember staying up late at night to watch Scooby Doo, and getting scared of the monsters that were being displayed within. My best friends were my neighbors, Belyn, Bethany, Christy, and Katie. We always played together, and Belyn always had some sort of weird jealousy towards the other girls. Me and Belyn were ultimately best friends, however, and I never really noticed her weird jealousy. Over time, though, as they grew older, they moved away and left me stranded. Before I was left behind into a world of my own, we always played the Spice Girls, dress up, and even Grease, where I was always the beautiful Sandy.
I eventually went into elementary school; Hirsch Elementary, where I was not exactly a social butterfly. I cried on the first day of school as my mom left to go down the hall way and leave me alone with all these other kids that I never met before. I was a fat kid with a gay accent that walked like a girl. Lets just say that I blame all the other girls around me. I had fun in Kindergarten, in a time where everyone was praised for being themselves, and we learned simple things such as the alphabet, the days of the week, and the names of the months. We made cookies and hot dogs and played recess every day. Everyone was friends with everyone else. There was a time, even, when this girl in my class mentioned she was my girlfriend, and I ran around class in horror of the thought of being in a relationship with a girl. I remember the teacher yelling at me to stay calm.
My ultimate ultimate best friend Michelle eventually moved down the street. She and me were two peas in a freaking pod. Michelle moved in during the first grade, but we met in Mrs. Morton’s first grade class, even though she lived right down the street from me. After day 1, we were inseparable. We played games from the time school let out until past dusk. I was so happy with her, and even remember growing up playing games such a barbies, vampires, fairy tales, and so many other gaytastical fantasy games.
Elementary school was no breeze; I was always picked on for being the fat gay kid, when in reality I had no earthly idea what being gay was, nor do I think any of them did either. Michelle always stuck up for me, and never ever went away from my side. Me and her had different friends in school, but we always remained good friends throughout.
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I dont know where it freaking happened. Where I fell into the cracks of despair, loneliness, and agony. When did I realize that I have been shattered into a million pieces and am currently commiserating even more into a depressional thought. Contemplation every day of continuing or faltering. I dont have a shitty life, but I dont know where it is leading, either. Every day is struggle to get up and do something. And now, now that I finally want to reverse this curse, I have no means of doing so. I feel trapped in this location and trapped with all my surroundings. I cant just get up and leave; school, work, and family are all here. But for some reason that is not enough.
I cant blame my exs, who have hurt, abused, and used me, either. Im sure it is possibly their faults, but I know I hold greater responsibility for my actions of the past, and I dont understand my past at all, either. I was such a happy kid with no worries in the world. Why did that have to change and put me this way? Why did I have to grow up, and realize the world is shit, and so are all of the people within it.
Is it so hard to find a guy that treats me right and is an equal? Im done searching, for I feel I shant ever find him. Im sure this is my curse, and it is a hell of a curse.
All guys ever want is a booty call; A shamble of a practice that is captivating at first by the thought of them contending that they want more than a piece of ass.
God, this is slightly depressing.